Dream Believer (Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the Cyclops)

by Micaela

Early morn, the X-Mansion...

Scott Summers, the handsome, well-built, and absolutely perfect in every way X-Man, opened his eyes, stretched, and yawned deeply.

"Jean, my love!" he called in his deep, masculine voice, "Are you awake?"

"Yes, oh love of my love, man of my dreams." his adoring wife, Jean Grey purred as she sauntered into the room in a slinky bathrobe which fell open every few steps.

Scott sprang from the bed and took her in his poccessive, manly arms. "Jean, I love you!"

"I love you beyond all reason, Scott!" she cried, completely overcome by his sheer masculinity and wonderfullness.

"What about Wolverine?" Scott asked her, his face falling in that adorably sad way of his.

"Wol-who?" Jean asked, confused, "Oh yeah -- the overrated runt. Who cares about him! Take me now, you big hunk 'o' man you!"

Later, Scott walked into the kitchen, adjusting his handsome, form fitting yellow-and-blue costume. Upon seeing the rugged, yet handsome and manly sight that was his face, Storm swooned, falling onto the kitchen counter and spilling her mint tea over the linoleum.

"Oh Scott!" cooed Shadowcat, batting her eyelashes, "Jean is such a lucky girl! I don't know what I was thinking, chasing after that knucklehead Rasputin when there's a *real* man in this house." she cuddled up to him, making goo-goo eyes.

"Ahh..." Scott said, slightly uncomfortable over the way she was caressing his arm, "Kitty, I *am* married, and anyway you're too young..."

"Oh that again." she wrinkled her nose. "How old am I? Eighteen or something?"

"Sixteen." he corrected; after all, a man as responsible and perfect in every concievable way as Scott Summers automatically knows how old his teammates are.

"Awww, man!" she pouted. "Oh well. You're so moral Scott -- thank you!"

"Just doing my job." he said, gracing her with a blinding smile that nearly sent her fainting on top of Ororo.

Gambit came busting into the kitchen, crying.

"Oh mon ami!" he groaned, clutching his chest, "I desp'rately need your help!"

"Whaz up?" asked Scott, since of course he was down wit' the lingo.

"It's Rogue, she -- " Gambit was cut off by Rogue's abrupt appearance. The skunk striped mutant came busting through a window, flying full tilt for Scott.

"Fuck you, Remy!" she roared, "Ah need me a *real* man! Come ta me Scott, mah wilhd stallion!"

"I'm afraid I cannot, Rogue." the object of her affections said manishly, "For I am married, and refuse to leave Jean. Besides, you'd suck out my soul."

In despair, Gambit charged up one of his own boogers and blew his own head off.

Ignoring the bloody stump that used to be Gambit's head, Psylocke strutted into the room (okay, she shadow-walked) and proclaimed, "Scott, I want to bear your child!"

"Oh god, not another one!" Mr.Sinister moaned (no matter if he wasn't in the story before, he is now). "How many kids *do* you have?!"

"It's a tribute to my manly vigor!" Scott Summers, he of the firm jaw, proclaimed, "And, as I recall, you had a little something to do with that, didn't you?"

"Oh yeah." Essex mumbled. Then he promptly disapeared from the story and was never heard from again.

"Umm, okay." Betsy said, somewhat disoriented. "Where was I at again? Oh yeah, Scott I wish to bear your -- "

"Give it up, honey." Rogue sniffled, "He ain't interested."

"Darn!" cussed Psylocke, as this is a code approved story, "Well, you just wanna snog then?"

Before Scott could demure, Jean marched into the room and flung Betsy's skanky ass aside.

"Away hussy!" Jean screamed, sending Psylocke flying into what was left of Gambit.

"Ewww!" cried Psylocke as she attempted to extricate herself from the puddle 'o' Gambit. "It's all sticky!"

After dipping Jean and planting a kiss on her yielding lips that took her sweet breath away and made her see stars, Scott whispered, "Let me fix this honey."

"Oh, Scott!" Jean cooed, playing with his shirt, "You're so *manly!*"

After whipping around the kitchen in what could only be described as an astounding feat of acrobatics, Scott cleaned up Gambit's remains, fetched Betsy a new shoelace costume to replace the one smeared with goo 'o' Remy, did the dishes, folded the towels, wiped off the tea stained linoleum, and saved a kitten from a tree. As an encore, he dazzled his captive audience with a totally bitchin' break-dance.

As everyone clapped and applauded, a blonde chick with a black stripe in her hair burst into the room.

"Oh Scott!" Crystal cried, "I detected your waves of manliness even from Attilan and just *had* to see you!!"

"Crystal?!" demanded Jean, angry again, "what the Hell are you doing here? You're not even an X-Character!"

"Oh, I know." Crystal pouted suggestively, sashaying up to Scott, "but I've done every guy in the Avengers Mansion, and thought I'd get started on this one!"

Jean snapped, and beat that blonde haired ho-dog's ass so badly they had to call in Black Knight to I.D the remains. As bits of Crystal's spleen floated to Earth, Scott took Jean in his arms and whispered, "I love you honey."

"And I love you!" she giggled, nuzzling his neck. "You were even sexy as Cyclopalypse!"

THE END (really?! Thank God!!!)

back to Micaela's stories | Cyke and Logan archive | comicfic.net