50 Ways To Be A Summers

Disclaimer: As if I didn't have anything better to do with my time... :) But, heck, the infoseek reminded me of this filk I did some years back, which has never been posted to OTL... so what the hey, why not. Marvel owns all the characters mentioned; but the "plot" of the song is M:I-related (if it matters to you).

by Brucha Meyers, written in November 1996

(to the tune of: "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover", by Paul Simon)

"The problem is all because of you," she said to me
"The family's so complex
If you take it logically
And if you read this
Then I'm sure that you'll agree
There must be fifty ways to be a Summers"

She said, "It's really just my hobby to connect
Furthermore, I think my message
Might be more than you'd expect
But I'll repeat myself
Though I mean no disrespect
There must be fifty ways to be a Summers"

Fifty ways to be a Summers

First one in the plan, Dan
Phoenix or Queen, Jean
They all owe you a lot, Scott
Plant the family tree
It's just your fate, Nate
How much can they procreate?
In a future day, Ray
Join the progeny

She said, "It grieves me so to see you so obsessed
I wish there was something I could do
To help you find some rest"
I said, "I appreciate that
As I never would have guessed
About the fifty ways"

She said, "Why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You'll begin to see the light"
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
She'd found another way to be a Summers

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